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standing again...

"He said to me, 'Son of man, stand up on your feet and I will speak with you." Ezekiel 2:1 I struggle to write lately...I struggle to get out of bed...I struggle to keep going...I long for Jesus to come back now more than ever...but still...He is teaching me that I must stand once again. When an adoption fails, an adoption that you have worked so hard on and spent so much on for 1 year, an adoption that you thought was what He wanted, an adoption that hurts to the core at the end, an adoption that was the making of your family turned to hurts to stand. It hurts to smile. It hurts to know that once again, you are left childless and once again God has taken away. I want to be angry and I want to just be left alone to cower in a corner and cover my eyes and my ears and never have to face the reality of my life...but every time...every time he takes something away, something touches my shoulder and makes me stand. Every time, I am left to hope. Every time, I am left praising Jesus. Every time, I trust a little more. Every time, I wait with hope for Him to give. As I sat the other day reading through Daniel and Ezekiel, I kept noticing the phrases, "...stand up on your feet and I will speak with you...He set me on my feet, and I listened to the One who was speaking to me...the Spirit entered me and set me on my feet...Suddenly, a hand touched and raised me...Stand on your feet, for I have now been sent to you...Stand firm in the faith..." The references are endless. The research was exhausted. It would take a whole book to write what I uncovered about standing in the Bible and what it meant. But really, as I kept turning the pages and researching and reading...I started to see that those on their knees in the Bible were always the one's crying out to God...and poetically, after their crying out, they were made to stand so they could now listen. They were given strength to receive take in what they had lost crying out. Joseph and I are beginning to stand again...we are being given strength to listen to what He has to say, and we are trembling, just like Daniel did, just like Ezekiel did, we are scared, we are hopeful, we are now turning our faces upward instead of to the ground. Even if God chooses not to give, we will still Bless His name. Forever and ever. He is our only hope. "If the God we serve exists, then He can rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire, and He can rescue us from the power of you, the king. But EVEN IF He does not rescue us, we want you as king to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up." Daniel 3:17-18


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