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offering strength...

"...this Helper who will, in the long run, be satisfied with nothing less than absolute perfection, will also be delighted with the first feeble, stumbling effort you make tomorrow to do the simplest duty." C.S. Lewis Lately it seems as if I am being lazy. Lazy with my life, lazy with my dreams, lazy with my job, lazy with my eating, lazy with my exercise, lazy, just plain, simple lazy. I don't really feel that I have anything to offer to anyone at this moment in time or if I did offer something, no one would accept it. My strength is weak, my emotions are weak, my whole being is weak. Then....I read Nehemiah. I completely and utterly love his story and have read it at least one hundred times in my life...yet at no other point, has it meant what it meant to me this morning. As I began reading in Chapter 1...my eyes floating off the page, my thoughts going elsewhere, I prayed that God would keep me focused and just speak to me with whatever words I needed to hear. After a few minutes all the words began to make sense. Here was a man, a cupbearer to the king of all professions. Specifically, a cupbearer was one who was esteemed highly by the king and was trusted. Cupbearers guarded the king's drinks from poison and often had to take a drink of the wine before the king did just to be sure. Cupbearers were full of courage in the risk of danger. Nehemiah was seemingly humble and my guess is he didn't hold his position as high as others did...it was his duty. But God used the makings of Nehemiah for something much much bigger. As Nehemiah prayed, he definitely didn't know how or what to do, but trusted that God would answer. As the story of Nehemiah continues, he continually offered strength...but not the kind of strength we think of when we say someone offered strength. He wasn't offering something he knew how to do, or was certain he knew the outcome. Instead, he offered strength even though he didn't know what that looked like...he was scared, no doubt...but he was courageous and he offered anything and everything he had and that which he didn't know he had. He was willing to trust God, trust his men, trust what "God had put in his mind to do". He found strength by offering strength. My prayer is that I too can be just like Nehemiah. I want to pray and trust and offer strength, even when I don't know what to do. The makings of me is good enough to lead me into the strength I need to accomplish, to maintain, to live a life that is pleasing to my Savior.

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