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of imposters and things...

Imposter. That word was an all too familiar word within my own vocabulary for many years and it still creeps in when I least expect it to. "The imposter lives in fear. Imposters are preoccupied with acceptance and approval. Because of their suffocating need to please others, they cannot say no with the same confidence with which they say yes. And so they overextend themselves in people, projects, and causes, motivated not by personal commitment but by the fear of not living up to others' expectations. The false self was born when as children we were not loved well or were rejected or abandoned. The imposter is the classic codependent. To gain acceptance and approval, the false self suppresses or camouflages feelings, making emotional honesty impossible. Living out of the false self creates a compulsive desire to present a perfect image to the public so that everybody will admire us and nobody will know us. The imposter's life becomes a perpetual roller-coaster ride of elation and depression. The imposter cannot experience intimacy in any relationship, including God. His narcissism excludes others. Incapable of intimacy with self and out of touch with his feelings, intuitions, and insight, the imposter is insensitive to the moods, needs, and dreams of others. Reciprocal sharing is impossible. When we accept the truth of what we really are and surrender it to Jesus Christ, we are enveloped in peace, whether or not we feel ourselves to be at peace. By that I mean the peace that passes understanding is not a subjective sensation of peace; if we are in Christ, we are in peace even when we feel no peace. With a graciousness and an understanding of human weakness that only God can exhibit, Jesus liberates us from alienation and self-condemnation and offers each of us a new possibility. He is the Savior who saves us from ourselves. When we draw closer to the heart of Christ, the imposter begins to shrink, and his alleged virtues are but brilliant vices. The heart is the symbol we employ to capture the deepest essence of personhood. It symbolizes what lies at the core of our being; it defines irreducibly who we really are. We can know and be known only through revealing the revelation of what is in our heart." (Brennan Manning, Abba's Child) Come out of hiding...quit running and quit trying to impress...quit thinking you don't know how to love and you don't know how to rely on God. That's a cave where you go when you cop out of living. Start believing that you are in His will for your life, start enjoying each moment, start thinking that you have something to offer, start sharing your life with others. All too soon and life is over and God's blessings have been shadowed over by our own selfishness...Love is kept waiting when it could have been experienced.


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