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information...inspiration...or transformation...

Listening to Moody radio the other day, I heard a prominent pastor say, “You can either read the Bible for information, inspiration, or transformation.” It stuck. I have been pondering it ever since. My mind has been replaying all of the times in my life I have read the Bible, and I keep asking myself “What was I really reading it for?” In college, my B.A. was Christian Theology. To most, people think that it was probably a really defining time in my life, and in fact, many have said to me, “…a blessing to be able to study the Bible for so long”…it was in all reality, at the time, a curse. The entire time I was studying there was no “transformation” going on. It was merely just studying about God, reading for information, endlessly analyzing and critiquing, but never was it an agent for change…until many years later. I grew tired of studying about this God, but never really knowing about Him. I grew callous in college. I was wounded…but not because of anyone or anything. I was wounded because of myself and where my heart was at. They were deep wounds that would be all the more clearer when I lost everything I ever had…a heartache so deep no one could touch it, except for God. The last quarter of college, was the worst time in my life. It was the summer of 2003. What I once said was my life, was my life no more. My innocence was gone…my whole world was turned upside down in a matter of 24 hours and it would never be the same. That last quarter, God showed Himself ever more clearly than I have ever seen or felt Him. I don’t remember any of my studies, I was running on autopilot and couldn’t process anything but tears that quarter…(thankfully my professors took heart, and to this day, I don’t know how I ever graduated or passed those classes). In one defining moment, God’s word became a transforming agent in my life. It was a complete 180 from the years before, and I was brought to my knees. For the first time in my life, I felt like I knew God, I felt Him, He was real, He wasn’t just a story, He was my God. I read the Bible with passion for months on end, I couldn’t get enough of this God, who loved me…who would never leave me. I hung on every word, I hid it in my heart…I let it change me from the inside out, never to be the same.


There are still times in my life, even just recently, when I felt numb to God, I felt numb to life, reading the Bible became a Sunday thing (for that momentary inspiration to get me through the week), reading the Bible became habit, reading a Psalms in the morning, just to “feel good” about who I am. The conviction lies deep in my soul. Today, reading the Bible, it felt as if the words leapt off the page. Instead of reading it thinking, “I need some encouragement”, I thought, “What can I change about me today as I am in pursuit of holiness…as I am in pursuit of knowing my God?”


“…I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake.” Philemon 1:6

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