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in the middle of a vast, dark sky full of stars...

When the sun sets, a whole new world seems to await us. When our adoption was disrupted in an Eastern Europe country, darkness quickly enveloped our vision, our way, and our awake. It seemed to be the end of everything. The emotions surged through our veins and our brains, but we couldn't put them into words. We were lost in our present, that would become our past but be the path to the future. How do you reconcile the darkness that was all around? How do you possibly find joy again? What do you do when you want to hate, and you want to be angry and hide forever from the world? My answers came from deep within. A longing that I couldn't shake. A desire that would not let go, no matter how much it hurt...Jesus. I still had life and I still had breath and I still had a purpose. Jesus was the longing and He was the desire...He was the life and breath inside of me. And that....that is all I needed to propel me forward. There were dark dark days and deep depression and the onset of serious health issues from the stress to overcome. There were times when death seemed much better than life. There were times when I hurt so bad, I couldn't feel anything. But through it all, there were lights in the dark sky...that shone brighter and brighter every night that I cried, every day that I longed for the cloak of darkness to hide my face from others - the lights were there, shining all around me. They held me and they caught my tears. Those lights heard my cries and comforted me. Those lights were life to me... "...children of God...you shine like stars in the world. Hold firmly to the message of life." Philippians 2:15-16

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