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in the blink of an eye...

"When I hope for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness. The churning inside me never stops." Job 30:26-27 I read these verses last night and they stuck. They explained exactly how I have been feeling the past few days. I'm sure, if you are human, you can completely understand when I say that there are just some times in your life that it seems God is unfair. As I laid in bed last night, staring at the ceiling fan turning around and around, I was stuck reciting two words over and over, almost as if it was in sync with the churn of the fan..."Why me?....Why me?...Why me?". I wanted answers to my questions, I wanted to feel relieved that there was some greater purpose, but nothing came. Hours passed and I felt numb...only to discover in one instance that it wasn't answers God was going to give me right now, it was my response that He was looking for. Instead of trust and praise, I was letting questions and doubts give way. I couldn't see beyond that doubt that He has a plan for my life and everything that happens in it. I was stunned. I was stunned because for hours upon hours, I couldn't see the real story that was going on. I was living my life as if I was the main character, but don't you see? The main character is God. The main story is that this is a world at war...it was the main story in Job (first two chapters that set the stage), it is the main story now. This battle is not my battle, I am simply a warrior in the play...fighting for my King. The central theme of my story is not about my pain and suffering....no, the central theme is about my faith during the pain and suffering and if I have the ability to turn it into glory. Glory for my King.

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