top of page

hiding...

"...they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day...and they hid themselves..." Genesis 3:8 As I came home every night from work a few weeks ago, I opened my door to an empty house. No children running around, no husband to say hello to...just four walls and some furniture. My eyes darted around, trying to find life anywhere as if I needed some encouragement that I wasn't all alone. But I was. Tears began welling up in my eyes as I remembered days long passed of a time when I had no time to myself...when martial arts or surfing kept my days long and busy, when church and highschoolers filled my life schedule to the max. Then I remembered the quiet days that followed when tragedy struck my life on more than one occasion...the emptiness that I once felt came flooding back to my soul as if it had never left. Soon enough, as if someone was right behind me, all I heard was "Quit hiding." My world stopped and my soul was flooded with anger...me? hiding? Yes. Me. I am a self-diagnosed, all around hider. I hide. I don't let many in and when I do, it takes months and years to really get to know me. I know where it comes from, and although it seems like a valid reason, it boils down to an excuse...an excuse to keep hiding...an excuse to not let hurt in anymore, an excuse to never make an enemy, never make a friend...an excuse to notentertain the thought that I might have a talent or two in something, so there will be no chance of humiliation in front of others...an excuse to be mysterious....so I can continue to be in hiding. It's a vicious cycle and one I know all too well. As I was sitting in church a few nights later, my eyes quickly glanced down at my Bible in my lap and three words leaped off the page..."they hid themselves..." That was all I needed, to begin to read the verses before and below. The Lord has a way of spontaneously providing little nuggets of truth precisely at the perfect times. The truth? I wasn't hiding from anything fabricated in my feeble mind, I'd been hiding from God. I was afraid to show me because of the attacks I had received to my feminine heart throughout my life. Those messages told me to hide, and in listening to those attacks, I had hidden from God time and time again. I had taken the very nature of being made in His image, and hid the beauty that He had created...because I hadn't fully trusted. What a journey...the journey continues on. The apostle Paul said it well - the goal is running the race with endurance, not coming in first.

Kommentare


bottom of page