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forgotten...

"And so, like runaway slaves, we either flee our own reality or manufacture a false self which is mostly admirable, mildly prepossessing, and superficially happy. We hide what we know or feel ourselves to be (which we assume to be unacceptable and unlovable) behind some kind of appearance which we hope will be more pleasing. We hide behind pretty faces which we put on for the benefit of our public. And in time we may even come to forget that we are hiding, and think that our assumed pretty face is what we really look like." Simon Tugwell, The Beatitudes I lay in bed last night and had this feeling that I had been forgotten. I felt as if the world was awake and moving on and I was left behind. I couldn't shake it as I read Isaiah and read how the Israelites felt forgotten too. All of my desires, all of my dreams, they felt frozen. Deep down inside, I knew it was just a feeling and not reality, but it was a feeling I had to fight. The circumstnaces of my life shout that I have been forgotten, not just by any one person, but by many. After allowing many thoughts to swirl in my head, and allowing my heart to feel overwhelmed by a sense of failure, I realized that it wasn't I who had been forgotten, it was I who had forgotten...forgotten who the Lord is...that He is mighty in battle, a mighty tower, a shield, a strength, hope, the One who holds the plans for my future, the One who captures every tear, who knows my past, who knows my present. It was I who had forgotten that God was in control, and I need not fear...what can man do to me? They can kill the body but not my soul. So this fight called life continues...knowing that it is I, in Christ, who will win when all is said and done. "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings

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