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even the wind obeys Him...

"They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying, "Master, Master, we are perishing!" And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm. And He said to them, "Where is your faith?" They were fearful and amazed, saying to one another, "Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?" Luke 8:24, 25 Recently, I was reminded of a memory in Cannon Beach, Oregon. I went there to find solitude and to just be still before God...not to ask Him for clarity this time, not to ask Him for answers to my questions, but to ask Him, "What do you want me to learn from all of this?". I wanted to spend time in prayer for me, and for others. I got there and the weather was less than desirable...raining off and on and cold. I tried to walk on the beach but it wasn't possible...I was getting soaked. I got in my car, confused and angry that I didn't get an answer as to what He wanted me to learn. My selfishness began to override my selflessness. I decided that this day was wasted, I should have never have come, and I headed home. Not one minute into the drive home and giving up on what I had come here for, I heard a voice saying, "Turn around, go do the Crescent Beach Hike, trust me." I didn't and I kept driving, listening to this same voice over and over. I kept fighting it, telling myself it was just some stupid idea I had in my head. 25 miles into the drive and to Astoria, I couldn't resist anymore, I began to cry and out of frustration and anger, turned around, grabbed some food, and headed back to Cannon Beach. The hike began, and my tears were flowing, frustration mounting. The trail started out muddy, very very muddy. I was slipping and falling down, the darkness was starting to envelop as the day wore on. It was anything but glorious, not to mention I was in my good athletic shoes and my one pair of expensive jeans, go figure. It was steep, very steep, and at times I couldn't even see the trail it was so washed out. I rounded a corner and out of nowhere, a fierce wind, hurricane type wind, rallied and threatened to knock me over. I could barely walk in it. The rain started pelting down, the tree limbs above threatening to break overhead. I became frightened and worried. It gave me chills and it was extremely eerie, and I started yelling at God..."Is this why you wanted me to come, so you could scare me? This is crazy...You're crazy. You have taken so much from my life, and given me much, yet You cease to keep the blessings in my life that you do give me. You never let me enjoy the fullness of them. I am continually pouring out my heart because You have asked me to and continually you laugh at me like this is some game. I'm done God, do you hear me? I'm done. I have tried to trust, and this is what I get...pain." I felt the presence of God in that wind that continued to whip around me. I kept walking, and then stopped right before a bend, as the wind was getting too strong to take another step. I possibly couldn't go any further - the fears, the anxiety, the tears...and quietly, tenderly, He spoke to me..."Just take a few more steps. Trust me." Out of anger, I did, and as I took the 2nd step, there it was before me - right around the bend...the most beautiful scene of an ocean I have ever seen. The waves crashing, hundreds of feet below. The massive rocks in the middle of the ocean letting the waves crash up against them, the waves, each one different, but each one knowing where it would end up. I began to cry. God spoke to me and said, "Oh you of little faith...the scenery might be bleek in areas along the path, but the end is a beautiful masterpiece...a scene too beautiful for words. Trust me with what I am doing." I froze. I finally got it. I finally believed all the words I have ever written and all the thoughts I have ever thought - that I am His masterpiece...I am a treasure to behold. I am worth someone fighting for me, I am unique and I see and hear things most people don't, I'm extremely imperfect, I forgive easily and need forgiveness, I am trustworthy, I pour out my heart in my love for others, I love life and live it to the fullest, I'm not afraid to take risks, I am His beloved, and He is preparing someone, someday, that will get to enjoy all of what He has made in me, as a daughter of the King, and He is preparing me to be able to enjoy all of him, as a son of the King. I finally believe it, every word. I turned around after gazing at the beautiful creation below and as fierce as the wind began, it immediately was gone. All of it. I could still hear the sound, the whole hike back, but I felt no wind in my face, I felt no fear...the wind didn't touch me. I was free to leave and free to believe once again.

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